What I learned five years ago

Today our daughter Virginia Grace Pelham would have been 5 years old. Grace had a chromosomal disorder named Edwards Syndrome or Trisomy-18 (being chromosome 18 that has the extra.) This was not something we were expecting on that day. Although, having the level of the pessimistic demon that I do, it was not totally a shock. Since this blog is subtitled “Always Learning,” I thought I’d share at least a few things that I learned February 3, 2006 and following.

You don’t always get what you want. Okay, I probably had already learned that one Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

Ready to Fly Away?

James and I practice Hymn Study as suggested by Ambleside Online which is modeled on the ideas of Charlotte Mason.  We learn the song and sing it once a week for a month (more if we like).  As I said in the “School day” post, depending on what strikes us that morning, this can become a theological or literature/poetry or music theory lesson.  We sometimes find out about the lyricist and learn something about his life that might have led him to write the words that he did.  Most times I go along with the suggestion that Ambleside has made for the month; but sometimes I nix it and choose another.

When it comes to hymns, I’m more of a Bachian kind of gal.  I prefer lyrics that come straight from Scripture and songs that praise attributes of God and tell of his wonderful deeds.  I don’t like songs that Continue reading

Posted in Bible, Home School, Music | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Father and Son

I do have some things on my mind to write about, but for today I’m going to copy my last post from the old blog.

_______________________________________________________________________________________

Yesterday’s math lesson turned into an extended life talk with Dad.  Mom went to Dad to seek help on finding out why James didn’t get as many addition facts solved as she thought he should and to see what Dad thought about how much was a reasonable amount and what we could do to help James.  After Dad went through a series of addition facts with James, he began to talk to him about discipline and the mind.  And they made lots of life applications to this basic necessary life skill.  James was so pumped the rest of the day.

I thought about what had happened and how blessed James was to have such a dad. And I thought about how so many men and women are “messed up” simply because they don’t have a parent who will spend time with them talking about things on a high level.  I’m not sure that James’ pumpitude through the remainder of the day was really about the exact thing they had discussed, but more about the fact that his Dad valued him enough to spend this time with him and to talk to him on such a high level.

James was having trouble going to sleep last night.  He came into our room and expressed concern about who would take care of him if something bad happened to us.  He says from time to time that he is amazed that, of all the parents in the world he could have been born to, that we would be the ones.  He is very grateful.  And I’m extremely grateful for him.

I love my husband and son very much.  I love my husband for his clear-mindedness and doing the right thing because it is the right thing.  I love him for having vision for the future and seeing the good and bad consequences of our every day choices and interactions.  I love that he is influenced by a drive for what is true.  I love that my son has such great values and wisdom at such a young age.  He also wants truth. And he takes nothing for granted.  He is a very grateful boy.

“Correct your son, and he will give you peace;
yes, he will bring delight to your soul.” ~Proverb 29:17

Dad and happy boy on the path

Posted in Parenting | Tagged , , , | 6 Comments

Table etiquette and courtesy

This is an excerpt from an interview with the writer of Downton Abbey found here

Are there any little details of etiquette from this period that you wish would be revived?

[Laughs] Well, I think that thing of being polite, of making people easy in your company, of not burdening them with your troubles; that’s quite nice, to be honest. These days, we always pour everything out…

Even the English?

The English less than the Americans, but far more than we once did. Formality has had a very bad press lately, but formality is quite refreshing when everyone knows what they’re supposed to be doing. We live in the age where it says on the invitation, casual chic. What does that mean? Back then, they knew what they were supposed to wear; they knew what they were supposed to do — that during the first course of the dinner you talk in one direction, set by the hostess; during the second course you talk in the other direction; and by the time it comes to the pudding, you can please yourself. Many people would now find that very artificial, but what it means is that nobody gets left out. How many times have you been to a dinner these days and one guy or one woman is just sitting there and nobody’s talking to them? That didn’t happen. A lot of these rules that people think were silly, they did have a point.

I thought the business of talking in one direction during the first course and then the other direction during the second course very interesting.  I never knew this.  Did you?

Posted in Uncategorized | Comments Off on Table etiquette and courtesy

Our “school” day

I was recently asked by a friend to describe a typical school day in our house.  She also homeschools and is considering changing her current educational approach.  I decided to record the results here.

Our basic educational philosophy is known in the homeschooling world as “Charlotte Mason.” For those of you not in the know, the short version is that Miss Mason was a teacher and teacher of teachers 100 years ago in England.  She recorded her thoughts and experiences for parents, teachers and students in several articles and in what today is a six-volume set of books.  A Charlotte Mason education is associated with terms such as “gentle” “short lessons” “habit training” “nature study” “living books” “narration.”  The quickest way to explain “living books” is “not boring text books and not workbooks.”  Narration, for one thing, replaces constant quizzing.  (It does so much more than that!)

My summation of a Charlotte Mason (CM) philosophy is that she cared about the whole child — inside and out; mind, soul and spirit; intellect and heart and character.  She believed that children were whole persons and should not be talked down to.  And definitely, definitely, definitely, no Twaddle!

So in keeping with the “short lesson” philosophy, I try to keep each lesson Continue reading

Posted in Home School, Teaching | Tagged | 3 Comments

Sometimes God understands lying?

The king of Egypt called for the midwives, and said to them, “Why have you done this thing, and have saved the boys alive?” The midwives said to Pharaoh, “Because the Hebrew women aren’t like the Egyptian women; for they are vigorous, and give birth before the midwife comes to them.” God dealt well with the midwives, and the people multiplied, and grew very mighty. It happened, because the midwives feared God, that he gave them families.

I’ll file this one under “sometimes God thinks it’s okay to lie or at least is understanding of why you would lie and does not disapprove or make you suffer for it.”  Or should I?

Posted in Bible | Tagged , | Comments Off on Sometimes God understands lying?

Vipers and serpents

Yesterday I read Luke 3 and found this exclamation of John very interesting

He said therefore to the multitudes who went out to be baptized by him, “You offspring of vipers, who warned you to flee from the wrath to come?”

It brought to mind this statement of Yahveh God to the Serpent who had deceived Eve

I will put enmity between you and the woman,
and between your offspring and her offspring.
He will bruise your head,
and you will bruise his heel.

Offspring of vipers and Offspring of the Serpent — hmmm.  Maybe there’s not a connection, but I thought it was interesting in light of the probability that some of those in John’s audience would have been a part of the crowd that a few years later were shouting “Crucify him!”

Posted in Bible | Comments Off on Vipers and serpents

Downton Abbey and parenting

I’ve been watching Downton Abbey on PBS — 3 episodes down — I missed the 1st one, but you can watch them online for a limited time only — and 1 to go.   The story, I believe, is an original screenplay and not taken from a book.  The setting is Edwardian England (early 1900s) and deals with an estate that is being entailed away from the daughters of the current Lord/Earl or whatever he is.  The young man who will inherit has come to live in the area (along with his mother) to get to know the estate and village that will be his one day — supposedly.  The current custodian Earl is accepting of this.  His dowager mother (the wonderful, wonderful Maggie Smith) is not.  She insists there is a way out of this deal and her son must find it.  He must fight for his daughters’ rightful inheritance, as she sees it.   The 3 grown daughters (haven’t figured out their ages yet — somewhere in their 20s or the youngest could be late teen) are trying to figure out their place in all this.  They are 3 very different personalities who do not get along — especially # 1 and # 2.   # 3 is busy with her causes — one being women’s rights.

Daughters #1 and #2 bring me to my thought here.  The parents are very nice people.  They appear to me to be very honest, thoughtful, kind and intelligent.  However, their helplessness to deal with the conflict of D1 and D2 really bothers me.  I realize that when the children are grown, it might be a little too late.  But something tells me that these girls are where they are because the parents didn’t “nip it in the bud” years ago.  And I realize that I’m watching a Drama and where would the drama be if there was no conflict?  But I’m still bothered.

D1 is of course the oldest and she is beautiful.  She is also stubborn and will not marry anyone simply because she is told to marry them.  Even if she fell in love with the man, if she knew that she was expected to marry him, she would back away.  D1 has also made a HUGE mistake which jealous D2 is about to expose.  D2 is not beautiful and feels constant competition for attention from any source with her older sister.  The father has grown to admire the young man that will inherit his estate and would love it if D1 would marry him.  Of course, even though she is liking him, she refuses to do this.  Ah, but D2 sees and tries to go after the young man.  And then there is a much older gentlemen in the picture who is also marriage material for the girls because he is wealthy.  D1 is disgusted by this idea.  But then D2 starts charming him and D1 decides to show her who is #1.  The young man who will inherit sees this and goes walking off in one scene a little heart-broken.  (Are you following this?)  Okay, so the Dad sees what is going on too and makes a statement to his wife that “Mary will never learn.  She thinks she can just throw aside one toy for another and that the 1st toy will still be there when she’s ready to play with it again.”

My point is — these parents know their daughters and they see what is going on.  Why don’t they do something?  Why didn’t they do something long ago?  Earlier the mother had made a comment to one of the maids about thinking that raising daughters was supposed to be like “Little Women,” but she has seen that it is very different.  They have accepted that these girls hate each other and they just stand helplessly on the sidelines.

Bad things have happened and they’re fixin’ to get worse.  Parents you are not helpless.

Posted in Parenting | Tagged | Comments Off on Downton Abbey and parenting

The former treatise have I made, O Theophilus

To get this thing started I thought I’d direct you to my former blog wherein I made a few entries between the end of 2006 and a few days ago.   http://pelhamhouse.blogspot.com/

You can pop on over there to see my meager efforts over the past 4 years and my hope is that back here you will see in future days that I have now conquered my lack of discipline and girded my loins and made something happen.

Enjoy!

Posted in Uncategorized | Comments Off on The former treatise have I made, O Theophilus