My Obsession, Regrettably

Parking this thought here for now. Something I want people to know, but holding back from posting it on social media.

When you pull away from me and/or my family, it hurts. It says you don’t like me or us, and you do not wish for you and/or your children to be influenced by me and/or us, nor to be like me and/or us at all.

I suppose I am to just brush the dust off my feet and move on. But I obsess.

I do the logical (and rightful) thing to ponder if I or we are in the wrong. How might I and/or we have have wrongfully offended? And the very great majority of the time, I’ve got nothing. Note that I said wrongfully offended.

But even when my conscious is clear, I obsess. I try to make sense of a senseless thing.

So, as I said in this post, I resolved this year to #GetOut, mostly to deal with this obsessing. And I explain how that works in that post. I should step away from this screen right now, but I have too much work today to do here that must be done before this afternoon, so I remain. Not being as efficient as I should be and could be. Because my mind and heart are obsessing.

What a sad world. Where is the honor? Where is the care for getting better at this being human thing? The Creator did indeed fearfully and wonderfully make us. When are you ever going to live up to all that human potential?

And so I bear this weight of sorrow over the state of people and, as I often do, I revisit this post from a similar emotionally weighty time for me and remind myself that ‘you ain’t so bad’ and decide that I Will overcome and continue to do the good that I know that I Ought and Can do.

“I am, I can, I ought, I will.” This was the motto she gave us. ~Michael A. E. Franklin, one of Charlotte Mason’s students; from “In Memoriam”

Have I then become your enemy by telling you the truth?
~the apostle Paul to his fellow-believers in Galatia

For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few. ~ Jesus

Why the Gehenna do the people not Care, God? ~ Kay Pelham




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